When do you finally feel like a grown-up? Like a real adult? Like you are in charge of your life?
I'm sitting here thinking that at 30 years old, despite being able to pay for and drive my own car, pay my own rent, buy my own groceries and pay my own bills, despite having had many jobs and currently having two, despite negotiating with the bank and making my own plans and doing so many of the thing associate d with being a grown-up.........why do I still feel like I'm floundering? Like I have yet to get a foothold on life as an adult? Like no matter how close I come, I'm not QUITE there yet? When does that change? Or does it ever change? Maybe it's a mindset that I haven't gotten in to yet, or maybe it's just that it happens when it happens and there is no way to change that consciously.
Things are changing in our lives, seemingly all for the good at this point, and that's awesome and I'm excited about the possibilities. But it all makes me wonder if it's late getting here, or if we are 'on schedule'. I have friends that seem to be so much farther ahead, but when I look deeper and harder at their individual situations, maybe they aren't farther ahead. Maybe they rushed ahead, and are now moving backwards to where they are supposed to be. No one really expects to get married, have a kid and be divorced by 30....do they? Considering I have more than one friend in this situation, it makes me think that I am indeed doing this the right way.
I need to stop looking at what other people have, and what they have accomplished (whether it's through hard work or not), and focus on what is right for me and what I ultimately want. I know that that is what I should do. But dammit, it's hard sometimes. I'm getting there, I really am.....it's just that my focus gets lost sometimes. I'm working on finding my focus again.....and I know that I'll get there.
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