So….new year’s resolutions. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Ok, I’m not big on ‘resolutions’ per sé. I think, like most people, I never follow through. They’re never truly realistic, and therefore never attainable, or at the very least, they’re too broad. Then they end up forgotten in the junk drawer of our hectic lives.
But I think I need to make some goals. Some changes. This past year was busy and with lots of changes and the best-laid plans went to shit because I (and we) couldn’t’ follow through on a number of plans due to circumstances. So I know that I need to make some plans, especially in relation to finances and health. I know what needs to be done – take more time for myself, go to the gym and work out more, eat healthier, plan a better budget, set smaller financial goals, etc…..and I know HOW to do these things. I just…..have to do them.
I think my biggest setback will be not having the support I need form C. Not that he’s not supportive, because he is, but he’s also a bit of a saboteur, albeit subconsciously. He has a gym membership as well, but using it? Not so much. And always with an excuse. So I can’t wait for him anymore – I just have to go. I have to plan my own part of the budget – he’ll have to figure out his on his own….and we can work together on the rest. But now more than ever, a financial plan HAS to be in place. I don’t want to be responsible for covering our asses……and am worried it may come down to that.
I guess what I think I need to do is resolve to make the things happen that need to happen, but without making specific resolutions. And if that sentence made sense anywhere other than my own head, it’ll be a bloody miracle. There are things that I want to have happen…..but they are not things that I can decide. I want to get married – but first you have to get engaged. I don’t’ foresee that happening this coming year, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s not something that can or should be high on the priority list. I want to go on vacation, which we had talked about. Again, circumstances will likely prevent this form happening. So I’ll focus on the things I CAN do something about and try not to lose my mind about the rest.
We have no plans for New Year’s Eve…..which kind of blows, but I’m also ok with. I’ve been working my tail off for the past month, and am ok with quietly moving in to 2010 and hopefully dreaming peaceful dreams of what’s to come.
Happy New Year ya’ll – have a safe and happy one!!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
What's a girl to do?
I recently read an article that hit home with me at The Happiness Project (http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2009/11/fifteen-tips-to-avoid-nagging.html#disqus_thread). BTW – if you’re not reading this site yet – go now! While I’m by no means a ray of fucking sunshine on a daily basis, it does help remind me of the positive when I need it. And lately, holy crap, do I need it.
Anyhoodle…..the article talked about expectations, in general terms, such as the division of labour within a household, and how to avoid nagging. As this has recently been an issue in MY household, I was all ears. Erm…eyes. Well, you know what I mean. I’ve been struggling with this overwhelming sense of frustration, as C and I have discussed MANY times, I NEED him to help more. We’re in a period of limited ‘free’ time, and I don’t feel like I should be the only one spending all of my free time doing the things that need to be done. I’m tired of last minute changes in plan (nah, I don’t feel like going to the gym now, when, by the time he tells me this, I could have been there and worked out already, rather than waiting for him). I’m tired of not doing the things I want to do in favour of the things that need to be done, knowing that they won’t get done unless I do them. And I’m tired of having this discussion and him acknowledging the lack of balance and then….not doing anything about it.
So I was all set to read this article and find out how I could use some of the strategies to make them work. And then I read the comments. And y’all? I’m better off just doing it all myself. I have told him, flat-out ‘I need you to help more’. And he says ‘I know, and I will’. And then? Nothing. Unless I very specifically ask. Don’t get me wrong, he asks sometimes if there’s anything he can do, usually when he can tell that I’m pissed/frustrated/ready to throw my fist through the wall. To which I often have to reply ‘no’, because I’ve already done it! And in the back of my mind, I’m thinking ‘look around. Do the plants need to be watered/floors be swept and vacuumed/laundry done/dishes put away etc and so forth and so on. And yet…if I don’t tell him in no uncertain terms *exactly* what needs to be done? Forget it.
I know that he knows how to do these things (I have seen it happen!!). I just struggle with getting him to do it on a regular basis, without my prompting and asking. I need some consistency. Because one day of helping ain’t gonna cut it, sweetheart. Telling me that you appreciate everything that I do? Sweet, but UNHELPFUL. How do I fix this? Start only doing my own laundry, forcing him to help? Leave the bathroom he uses a mess, and start using the other one only myself, forcing him to clean it? Let all the plants die? What??? Please……give a girl some guidance.
Anyhoodle…..the article talked about expectations, in general terms, such as the division of labour within a household, and how to avoid nagging. As this has recently been an issue in MY household, I was all ears. Erm…eyes. Well, you know what I mean. I’ve been struggling with this overwhelming sense of frustration, as C and I have discussed MANY times, I NEED him to help more. We’re in a period of limited ‘free’ time, and I don’t feel like I should be the only one spending all of my free time doing the things that need to be done. I’m tired of last minute changes in plan (nah, I don’t feel like going to the gym now, when, by the time he tells me this, I could have been there and worked out already, rather than waiting for him). I’m tired of not doing the things I want to do in favour of the things that need to be done, knowing that they won’t get done unless I do them. And I’m tired of having this discussion and him acknowledging the lack of balance and then….not doing anything about it.
So I was all set to read this article and find out how I could use some of the strategies to make them work. And then I read the comments. And y’all? I’m better off just doing it all myself. I have told him, flat-out ‘I need you to help more’. And he says ‘I know, and I will’. And then? Nothing. Unless I very specifically ask. Don’t get me wrong, he asks sometimes if there’s anything he can do, usually when he can tell that I’m pissed/frustrated/ready to throw my fist through the wall. To which I often have to reply ‘no’, because I’ve already done it! And in the back of my mind, I’m thinking ‘look around. Do the plants need to be watered/floors be swept and vacuumed/laundry done/dishes put away etc and so forth and so on. And yet…if I don’t tell him in no uncertain terms *exactly* what needs to be done? Forget it.
I know that he knows how to do these things (I have seen it happen!!). I just struggle with getting him to do it on a regular basis, without my prompting and asking. I need some consistency. Because one day of helping ain’t gonna cut it, sweetheart. Telling me that you appreciate everything that I do? Sweet, but UNHELPFUL. How do I fix this? Start only doing my own laundry, forcing him to help? Leave the bathroom he uses a mess, and start using the other one only myself, forcing him to clean it? Let all the plants die? What??? Please……give a girl some guidance.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Mini-Goal FAIL
Yeah so that last thing? The mini-goal plan? Utter, fucking failure. Shit hit the fan and well…..now it’s just a few short days till Christmas, I’m almost, just barely done my shopping (today is the day!!), have wrapping to do, baking to get done (well……started), and umm, I still haven’t been to the gym.
Been working mad hours over the past couple of weeks (let’s see…..80 ‘regular’ hours plus *counts on fingers* 50 part time hours equals……..too many fucking hours). So. To sum up? Tired.
I’m not usually one for new year’s resolutions, as I, like most, never stick to them. I think maybe it’s time to turn over a new leaf in that regard, and see if maybe I can make them and stick to them. It’s worth a shot anyway, as I have so much that I want to do and accomplish, but all of these things are becoming more and more difficult to follow through on. So maybe my resolution should be to make mini-goals and stick to THEM, in an attempt to reach the end goal?? I don’t know, it COULD work, I suppose.
Anyhoodle……gearing up for Christmas, the family visits and travelling and eating and drinking and gifting, oh my. I’m not religious by any stretch of the imagination, but I do find myself listening to Christmas music and thinking more at this time of year about a ‘higher being’. I’m not about to get up and go to church every Sunday, don’t get me wrong, but I do wonder what it’s like to have something that you believe in that strongly. Listening to ‘O Holy night’ and the like brings these often random thoughts to the forefront of my mind….
It’s going to be a busy week (what’s left of it), and I love Christmas, but feel like I have had no time to enjoy the whole process of decorating and shopping and wrapping and baking this year. Well, I feel that way because I haven’t had any time for any of that stuff. And with some family stuff that’s gone on this year…..it just makes me kind of sad. Some fun and time with friends would have balanced it out nicely. Resolution number 2? Make more fucking time for the fun stuff.
Merry Christmas y’all, and a Happy Healthy New Year!!!!
Been working mad hours over the past couple of weeks (let’s see…..80 ‘regular’ hours plus *counts on fingers* 50 part time hours equals……..too many fucking hours). So. To sum up? Tired.
I’m not usually one for new year’s resolutions, as I, like most, never stick to them. I think maybe it’s time to turn over a new leaf in that regard, and see if maybe I can make them and stick to them. It’s worth a shot anyway, as I have so much that I want to do and accomplish, but all of these things are becoming more and more difficult to follow through on. So maybe my resolution should be to make mini-goals and stick to THEM, in an attempt to reach the end goal?? I don’t know, it COULD work, I suppose.
Anyhoodle……gearing up for Christmas, the family visits and travelling and eating and drinking and gifting, oh my. I’m not religious by any stretch of the imagination, but I do find myself listening to Christmas music and thinking more at this time of year about a ‘higher being’. I’m not about to get up and go to church every Sunday, don’t get me wrong, but I do wonder what it’s like to have something that you believe in that strongly. Listening to ‘O Holy night’ and the like brings these often random thoughts to the forefront of my mind….
It’s going to be a busy week (what’s left of it), and I love Christmas, but feel like I have had no time to enjoy the whole process of decorating and shopping and wrapping and baking this year. Well, I feel that way because I haven’t had any time for any of that stuff. And with some family stuff that’s gone on this year…..it just makes me kind of sad. Some fun and time with friends would have balanced it out nicely. Resolution number 2? Make more fucking time for the fun stuff.
Merry Christmas y’all, and a Happy Healthy New Year!!!!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Holy hell it's been a while
So some changes have definitely occurred recently, resulting in far less posting than planned (I even had drafts!!). But some of those drafts are no longer as relevant, what with them not being posted in a timely manner and all that.
Some hypothetical situations arose, which has resulted in much chaos, and I’m now stressed for a whole new set of reasons. I have no idea how exactly it’s all going play out. The Boy and I are fine, but he was laid-off…..there’s family illness and issues and I got a new job and it’s the f*cking Christmas season, and more stress is NOT what I asked Santa for dammit. For all the stress though, I know that everything will work out in the end. I just have to keep telling myself that so that maybe one day I’ll believe it!
With all that’s been going on, I haven’t made it to the gym in forever, I’m kind of cranky, feeling blegh, frustrated with shopping (for me AND for Christmas), and really want a day off. I need to get into a new routine and stick to it. And I don’t feel like I have any support in that area right now, so it’s even more of a struggle.
They’re calling for snow this week…..I think that may help with getting into the holiday spirit, as Christmas is the only part of winter that I enjoy, and listening to the carols when it’s grey and dreary and rainy out is just not the same.
Not much substance to this, I know. I’ve had posts rattling around in my head that I haven’t had the time or frankly, the energy to post, and think maybe starting to blog my fitness/health goals and progress reports may help hold me accountable. I have a massage booked for tomorrow after work (desperately needed, ow), and a facial on the weekend (to use a gift certificate I got LAST Christmas!), and some time I am going to free up if it kills me dammit to go to the gym.
Mini-goals. It’s my new ‘thing’. Wish me luck y’all.
Some hypothetical situations arose, which has resulted in much chaos, and I’m now stressed for a whole new set of reasons. I have no idea how exactly it’s all going play out. The Boy and I are fine, but he was laid-off…..there’s family illness and issues and I got a new job and it’s the f*cking Christmas season, and more stress is NOT what I asked Santa for dammit. For all the stress though, I know that everything will work out in the end. I just have to keep telling myself that so that maybe one day I’ll believe it!
With all that’s been going on, I haven’t made it to the gym in forever, I’m kind of cranky, feeling blegh, frustrated with shopping (for me AND for Christmas), and really want a day off. I need to get into a new routine and stick to it. And I don’t feel like I have any support in that area right now, so it’s even more of a struggle.
They’re calling for snow this week…..I think that may help with getting into the holiday spirit, as Christmas is the only part of winter that I enjoy, and listening to the carols when it’s grey and dreary and rainy out is just not the same.
Not much substance to this, I know. I’ve had posts rattling around in my head that I haven’t had the time or frankly, the energy to post, and think maybe starting to blog my fitness/health goals and progress reports may help hold me accountable. I have a massage booked for tomorrow after work (desperately needed, ow), and a facial on the weekend (to use a gift certificate I got LAST Christmas!), and some time I am going to free up if it kills me dammit to go to the gym.
Mini-goals. It’s my new ‘thing’. Wish me luck y’all.
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