My Resolve

So….new year’s resolutions. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Ok, I’m not big on ‘resolutions’ per sé. I think, like most people, I never follow through. They’re never truly realistic, and therefore never attainable, or at the very least, they’re too broad. Then they end up forgotten in the junk drawer of our hectic lives.

But I think I need to make some goals. Some changes. This past year was busy and with lots of changes and the best-laid plans went to shit because I (and we) couldn’t’ follow through on a number of plans due to circumstances. So I know that I need to make some plans, especially in relation to finances and health. I know what needs to be done – take more time for myself, go to the gym and work out more, eat healthier, plan a better budget, set smaller financial goals, etc…..and I know HOW to do these things. I just…..have to do them.

I think my biggest setback will be not having the support I need form C. Not that he’s not supportive, because he is, but he’s also a bit of a saboteur, albeit subconsciously. He has a gym membership as well, but using it? Not so much. And always with an excuse. So I can’t wait for him anymore – I just have to go. I have to plan my own part of the budget – he’ll have to figure out his on his own….and we can work together on the rest. But now more than ever, a financial plan HAS to be in place. I don’t want to be responsible for covering our asses……and am worried it may come down to that.

I guess what I think I need to do is resolve to make the things happen that need to happen, but without making specific resolutions. And if that sentence made sense anywhere other than my own head, it’ll be a bloody miracle. There are things that I want to have happen…..but they are not things that I can decide. I want to get married – but first you have to get engaged. I don’t’ foresee that happening this coming year, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s not something that can or should be high on the priority list. I want to go on vacation, which we had talked about. Again, circumstances will likely prevent this form happening. So I’ll focus on the things I CAN do something about and try not to lose my mind about the rest.

We have no plans for New Year’s Eve…..which kind of blows, but I’m also ok with. I’ve been working my tail off for the past month, and am ok with quietly moving in to 2010 and hopefully dreaming peaceful dreams of what’s to come.

Happy New Year ya’ll – have a safe and happy one!!